Over the weekend I hosted my American friend and he got to see the wild side of South Africa. In addition to driving on the left side of the road, he had a couple more things to learn on general safety rules and cultural guidelines applicable in Africa.
Lesson 1: All crossing species have right of way
Unless of course you have a problem with that, then take it up with the rhinos.
Lesson 2: Get smash proof windows
Smash-and-grab windows are an Africa innovation to prevent you from being grabbed for dinner, not your purse. Simply put; here you’re the prey and are somewhere close to the bottom of the food chain. I hope this puts things into perspective.
Lesson 3: No dog trap doors
Trust me, your dogs don’t like them too because they don’t feel safe.
Lesson 4: Drink bottled water
Public fountains will get you killed; literally! Learn from the naive impala.
Lesson 5: Leave your fancy designer stuff at home
Or do you think you can compete. They’re wearing the real stuff. 100% authentic and we can never be sure of that label on you claiming authenticity. Do you?
Lesson 6: Individualism is not advised
Don’t separate from your group. Don’t take stupid walks alone in the woods, this is not Narnia!
If you think I’m over reacting, see the African philosophy in action:
And most importantly, the cool kids are doing it. So don’t be a looser, be part of a crowd!
Lesson 7: All rules have exceptions
We’re not as rigid as some folks so all rules have exceptions. I mean what will you tell this guy?
So if somehow you still find yourself in a pickle: Keep calm. Then run!